Mom Musings

Little Miss usually falls asleep on the bus ride home everyday after school.

And usually she wakes up just as they get to our house. Yesterday, though, she wasn’t ready for that. So I had to go on the bus and carry her off. When we got inside I laid her down on the couch and there she continued to sleep for another hour or so. When she did come to she was all out of sorts. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone woke her up.

For the rest of evening she never could get back in sorts. She wasn’t sure what she wanted. Although she was pretty sure she wanted mom. Although sometimes she questioned even that. I carried her around for the most of the evening to help her be settled. I held her while I was doing dinner prep. Then dad took a turn. Then I held her during dinner. Then I held her up the stairs for a bath. One I hoped would calm her nerves. After some convincing it did finally work.

I tried hard not to grow impatient with her constant state of I-don’t-know-what-I-want-but-please-give-it-to-me. It was touch and go a couple of times.

But as I laid in bed last night I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I could be “the mom.” The one who everyone wants when nothing is going quite right in their lives. When there is confusions. When no one knows what they want. I’m felt grateful that I could hold her. That even though she was unsettled holding her settled things a little. I feel grateful even for our frustrations, both hers and mine. Because even with those frustrations we still had each other to hold on to.

After a lengthy bath and two books read we came down stairs to find The Boy dancing his little heart out. And in the end that’s what got her back to her normal self.

Sometimes all you need is a dance party.

And mom.