Real Life

This week has been a hard one. Not as hard has some weeks have been. But harder than most.

And today, at the end of it, I’ve felt the weight of it all. And it’s overwhelming.

Much of the weight lies with different family members experiencing different health struggles. Health struggles can be so tricky. So often there is not much we can physically do but pray and be patient. I’ve got the prayer part down pretty well. The other, not so much. But I’m working on it. Weeks like this one give me many opportunities to practice that patience thing.

Last night I couldn’t sleep. At all. During the night, as I lay awake worrying about people, I knew that my being awake wasn’t really helping anyone. Staying awake didn’t ensure that healing would speed up or that answers would be found. If only it were that easy. At yet I still couldn’t sleep. By morning that weight felt heavier.

Two kids were up early, ‘cause that’s how they roll, and while I was trying to convince one that it wasn’t play time I took a moment to just sit down and look out the window at the beginning of the sunrise. It was still pretty dark but the sky was turning to those brilliant orange colors and I let myself feel a few moments of peace. Mornings bring that, peace. For just a few moments I felt the awe of a new morning. It was a new day and even though there were things that were still hard I felt a few moments of peace. It was incredibly calming. And even though the day still was harder and there were moments, even hours, that were harder than others I could think on those calm dawn moments.

And now at the end of this long day things are ones again calm. Once again they feel peaceful.

That’s my real life.