Realizations

Today I’m taking  little break from the Christmas magic that has surrounded this space as of late.

I’ve had this little experience in my mind the past few days and I’m hoping by getting it out my thoughts and heart will feel a little more settled.

I watched a little interaction unfold the other day which helped me remember this. We were at church, of all places, during a time when all the children ages 8 to 11 meet together. William sat down in one of two empty chairs and the girl next him asked him to move as that was the teachers seat. Which was true, as it was a bigger chair. So he got up and moved to the next available spot. Another girl saw that he was about to sit next to her so she quickly motioned for another girl to move over, so she would not have to sit next to him. She was too late, and she knew it, so she sat and scowled at him. The most disgusted look was on her face directed at my son. It was heartbreaking. He, seeing the look on her face, just stared at her. Which made her even more disgusted. After a while I couldn’t help but notice that her seat kept getting moved further and further from him. Until she was practically in the middle of the center isle. Again, heartbreaking. It was not the time, nor place really, for me to call her out on her poor behavior. And considering the reaction she gave my son I doubt the one she would have given me would have been any better.

I was sad that this was happening. Sad that it was at church where we try to stress acceptance and Christ-like love. Sad that there are those that we interact with that so openly direct their disgust at my children. I realize I can’t control every reaction to my children. And I can’t make everyone fall in love with them either. That doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could. I can do my best to educate others. To try to show them that even though my children do things differently, and talk differently, they still have wants and needs, thoughts and feelings, like everyone else. I can try to show them this but I can’t make them listen. I can’t control other’s reactions. I can’t control how they act, or react. It’s that thing called “choice.” We are all given that power to choose. Others have to be allowed to choose how they react towards my children. Good or bad. They will be responsible for their choices and I must have faith in that.

And I am allowed to choose not to walk up and flick them in the head.

No matter how bad I want to.