On Be-ing The Mom

Last year at this time I chose a word to represent my year. A word for me to work on. My word was BE. I think I’ve come to love that word. Can a person love a word? Well I do.

In the later months of 2010 I seemed to mention my BE word less and less but that didn’t mean it wasn’t in my thoughts. I tried hard to make it in my actions but I do wonder how well I did with that. I’m grateful that each day, each month, even each year I get to try again.

I’ve been thinking lately a lot about what it means to be the mom. I constantly feel like something or someone is constantly pulling me one way or another. Sometimes it is my attention, my time or my self.

A couple of months ago we  visited the zoo. We were quite captivated by the chimpanzees. There was a newborn and his mother. He was just weeks old. There was also an older “baby” we’ll call him. To me the older one was the one who caught my attention the most.

Sweet don’t you think? Aren’t all kids sweet with a pane of plastic in front of them?

His mother was trying to help the other new mom. But he wasn’t havin’ it. He wanted to do something else and wanted her with him. Sound familiar? I can so relate to this mother. And oddly I’ve thought a lot, I mean a lot, about this little experience at the zoo. I so know what this mom feels like. Someone always hanging on you. You’re trying to accomplish something else, helping someone else, and that is never good enough for the little people surrounding you.

There are some days when I feel like this is becoming my new identity. Not just being the mom, but the cook, the chauffer, the maid. The list could go on and on. But I feel like I’m doing a disservice to them and me by allowing that. I need to just be me. Cliché, I know. But in all my be-ing isn’t that the most important thing? When I can be me I can hopefully be better. A better Daughter of God, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I need to remember this. What a difference remembering can make.

I think a word for a year is such a fabulous thing. It’s as if one word can lead into another. This year of focusing on be-ing has given me so much to think about. To reflect on. It’s interesting the little things that happen around you that help to focus that reflection. I suppose the key is to recognize those little things.

For 2011 I want to remember. Remember who I’m trying to be. Remember experiences I’ve had. Remember those who are gone. There is so much to remember!

What will your word be?