On Monday, after gushing about school and all it's glories, I get a phone call. It was from his Resource teacher, a.k.a. special ed. teacher. I suppose I should back up just a bit and say last week there was a note sent home saying that he refused to go to the carpet. Back to Monday she said that he was doing better about the carpet business but was having a hard time participating. He was getting into things a lot. In her room if she turned to get something new out he was up and had his hands all over stuff. Just general not listening.
He's doing this a lot at home too. If I ask him to do something he'll ignore me or just flat out say no. After multiple times of asking many times he'll flop on the floor or the couch or anything into a 50 lb wet noodle as I'm trying to drag him off to wherever. Needless to say it is very frustrating and does little to help the patience I've been trying so hard to exercise.
Yesterday on his behavior chart (which gets sent home to all kindergartners, not just him) it says "refused to go to the carpet." This left David wondering what in the world he didn't like about the dang carpet. It left me confused and frustrated. I have talked to him, a number of times, about the importance of listening and doing what is asked of you. He usually just nods and I know he understands what I'm saying. Maybe he is just nodding to say, "Whatever mom, whatever I have to say to be done with this conversation." I know his behavior isn't necessarily a reflection on me, but I can't help feeling like it is. Why do mother's feel like everything their child does is their fault?
I know that he likes school, because he is always wanting to go to school. Asking for the bus. He always gets on the bus willingly, I never have to force him on it. He loves to pack his lunch and pack his backpack. Which, again, leaves me feeling confused and frustrated. I really don't know what to do to make him more willing to listen at school. Or at home for that matter.
3 comments:
I'm sorry he's giving you a hard time. I bet it's just the change in routine. Maybe it's going to take him awhile to get with the new flow of things. He spreading his wings and testing things a little (or lot, either way you want to look at it). Chin up, it will get better! xoxox
Yes I would add he is testing the waters and will continue to push the envelope as long as he can. Frustrating yes, but nonetheless part of child rearing! The only answer as I see it at this point is to be consistent with the consequences and he will evidently understand there are rules, boundaries, and limitations that everyone including him has to follow. He will come around! He loves to please and always has, sometimes he just needs to be gently nudged back into that mode!
We had trouble with our eldest with the same thing this year when he started school (non-DS). He became atrocious at home too. I was beside myself. My husband is a principal and I am a teacher. How embarrassing!!! He got through it, with the support of his fab teacher, and I got through it at home by putting the responsibility back on him. I would ask once, then if he didn't do it put the microwave timer on. If the timer went off there was a consequence. Say putting him in time out with his clothes until he is dressed or taking a favourite toy away. Works a treat with our 3 year old too, who loves to muck around at dinner time. First time she's out of her seat or not eating the timer goes on, and if she's not finished a reasonable amount when it goes off, she's in time out until she has. Has taken all the stress away for me, and we are all so much happier. Give it a go.
He WILL get through this and it is NOT your fault :)
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