Sometimes things happen in our lives that change us and we are never quite the same. Such is the case for us. When Mary was born we were presented with two huge and overwhelming challenges (Our Story). Without warning we found ourselves with two children with special needs and unable to have anymore children of our own. Thankfully, now two months later, I find that I no longer dwell on these things all day, everyday. Although it does have a constant presence in the back of my mind. Every once in a while something will happen and I'm blindsided by many of the emotions that followed closely behind my surgery. Such was the case the other day. Out of no where I was reminded of the situation we have now found ourselves in.
I read a book once that described the differences between burdens and baggage. Burdens are things that happen to us. Things we have no control over. Things that have the potential to make us stronger. While baggage are those things we pick up and hang on to. Things like guilt, fear, anger and worry. These things only weigh us down. We have been promised that He will take our burdens upon Him and either help us carry them or take them away from us. But He won't take on any baggage.
I am determined not to turn in all of our "issues" into baggage. If for no other reason than I know I can't carry these bags all by myself. Leaving them as burdens, as I think they were intended to be, will be the only way I can let go and move on.
I have often considered why we were given two weighty matters to deal with when Mary was born. Not being able to have any more children (a.) and raising another child with Down Syndrome (b.). While I know I'll never figure out why this happened I still try to find positive reasoning behind it all. In my head I imagine a little "stand off" between the two. I see (a.) as the one that wants to bring me down, so to speak. This is the one I could dwell on forever and quickly turn it into baggage. Then (b.) is the good guy. This one I can run with and improve the lives of my children, all three of them, and grow and maybe reach that potential that is somewhere deep inside me. I'm rooting for (b.)...
3 comments:
"B" is the "better" road to take. Often we get caught up in "a" but the "a" world really is a selfish place if you ask me. I like the idea between burdens and baggage; and I too choose burdens because I can get help with the burdens and like you say even give them away if I find they are too heavy to bear. Thanks for the insight. I always look forward to your "good" reads...
This is a great thought. I love the differentiation between burdens and baggage. No one wants to wake up one day realize they have baggage. It just SOUNDS unattractive, don't ya think? ha ha. Anyway, thanks for updating your blog so frequently with new photos of your angels. It looks like Ruth and Whitney could have some fun together. She looked so much older than Whitney but I just realized they are only like 6 months apart.
It's so hard not knowing the reasons for our trials. I ALWAYS find myself trying to figure out why this or that happened and my husband finally gave me a blessing that said this was pointless because I would not be given all the answers to everything in this life, but that I should just have faith and rely on the Savior. The blessing said life is like a maze and we all are struggling and trying to make it through and the only way we can succeed is to listen for the voice of the Lord. He can see the path to take through the maze of this life-- He has a better view than we do. A perfect view even.
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